It’s tough being a single Christian today.
Not only are you commanded to deny yourself in a world where doing so seems outrageous, but you also have to traverse an increasingly harsh dating landscape, and face discrimination from church leaders who treat marriage like it’s as important as salvation itself.
Modern talk about Christian singleness only frames it as a miserable time to endure too. And no matter how much married Christians give lip service to their single spiritual siblings, you can easily sense that you’re viewed as irresponsible, inferior, or even sinful due to your status.
It’s to the point where marriage is the only condition revered by the Church even though Scripture honors singleness as an even better state in some cases.
But that’s why I’m writing this today.
Single Christians have five awesome advantages over those who are married, and I’ll explain each of the five below.
The Single Christian’s 5 Awesome Advantages
#1: You Can Serve Without a Care
As a single Christian, your most obvious advantage is your potential for carefree service.
You can’t just up and leave when you have a spouse and a family. The time and energy you have now with less responsibility is a huge advantage.
People everywhere look for productivity hacks these days, but the biggest one of all is this: do less.
The Apostle Paul was wise to this truth centuries ago when he described single Christians as those “without care” in their service to God (1 Cor. 7:32-33).
Whether it’s serving directly at your church, spreading the gospel in other nations, or preparing yourself for future ministry, being single allows you to wholeheartedly pour your effort into God’s work. That’s why “there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven” (see Matt. 19:12).
Of course, marriage has supportive benefits and not everyone is gifted to be single for a permanent or even long period of time, but some feats just aren’t feasible when you’ve got too much on your plate.
Take me for example. Some of my most productive times writing here came during periods when I was single. Many articles required me to come home from work, eat dinner, and then write or study for hours. There was no texting back and forth with a loved one. I wasn’t planning dates with a girlfriend. And I couldn’t afford to spend my Saturdays off away from the craft.
Those are the sacrifices I and others like me have made to spread the knowledge of Christ. For some of us, this sacrifice is permanent. But even if you don’t plan on being single forever, you should still seek first the Kingdom of Heaven, and know all your needs will be met if you do (Matt. 6:33).
#2: You Can Address Hidden Sins More Effectively
The worst sins in our Christian walk are the ones that hide below the surface. They’re the ones that deceive us into thinking they’re under control and not actually problems.
One reason singleness is so difficult is because it makes many of our hidden sins more apparent:
- You’re more inclined to covet what others have and not be content in your current condition
- Your lack of self-control can lead to lust of the eyes and fornication in your heart
- And your idolization of a relationship can usurp God’s position as the focus of your life
Many single Christians believe marriage will somehow make them less sinful, but that’s not really the case.
Plenty of men (and women) foolishly treat marriage as the cure for pornography addiction for example. While it certainly helps to have a God-ordained sexual partner to help meet those desires, the self-indulgent nature of pornography is nothing like marriage. And if you’re used to that on-demand high, even the best Christian spouse will disappoint you.
The best time to address sins like that and the ones above are actually when you’re single. Otherwise, you’ll negatively affect someone you love by bringing avoidable sins into the relationship.
Addressing those faults is easier said than done, but sometimes, having a spotlight on your sin actually helps.
All of us are more likely to address problems that are obvious. We need mirrors in our face reminding us of the flaws we currently have.
The purpose of the Mosaic Law in Scripture was to make God’s people aware of their sinful condition and their need for supernatural help (see Rom. 7:7-13 NIV). Your circumstance as a single Christian might be doing the same thing.
#3: You Can Focus on Spiritual Growth
You know why reading the Bible in a year is such a common goal even though it takes nowhere near that long to do?
It’s because people aren’t focused.
This isn’t simply a modern problem caused by social media or doom-scrolling though. Martha literally had Jesus in her house and thought kitchen chores needed more attention (Luke 10:38-42).
People have a tendency to heed every distraction in their environment—even if a much more important task demands focus.
Now I wouldn’t call a spouse or a family a distraction per se, but as we saw earlier, the reality is that those responsibilities deter your spiritual focus. And Paul used this truth to support his view of why Christian singleness is preferable to marriage:
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. (1 Cor. 7:32-35 ESV; also see 1 Cor. 7:6-8 ESV)
It’s worth noting that Paul’s words here are not a command. Being single or married isn’t inherently a matter of sinning. But the point here is that relationships divide your focus.
Sanctification, or the process of becoming more Christlike, is a long and continuous process that requires your own effort with the Holy Spirit’s guidance. And the easiest time to invest in this growth is when you’re alone:
- That’s when you can go to your room and pray to God for hours.
- You can study full books of the Bible uninterrupted on a Tuesday evening.
- And you can read a 5500-word article from a theology nerd to better understand difficult doctrines.
The potential for spiritual growth is incredible when you’re single. So use this time now to keep your focus undivided.
#4: You Can Improve More Easily in Practical Areas
Being desperate for a relationship typically makes you a poor match for the kind of person you desire.
You can spend so much time clinging to an idea of the future that you neglect practical skills that will make your life—and your potential marriage—much more enjoyable.
The image of being unequally yoked in Scripture directly points to why relationships between Christians and non-Christians don’t work, but that imagery also shows how other mismatches affect relationships.
Sure, a person’s faith is the main concern Christian singles should consider for a partner, but it’s not the only one. Personal faith in Christ doesn’t entitle you to a spouse after all.
Things like job status, physical fitness, personal grooming, and financial health all influence compatibility. You still need to address practical areas like those in order to be an attractive partner. And the easiest time to do so is when you’re single.
It’s tough to improve your grades for example if your girlfriend wants to go out with you every night. It’s hard to get in shape when your husband keeps buying those sweets he knows you love too.
Yes, you can address issues like those through proper communication, but that’s additional work needed to get on the same page.
You don’t have to take extra steps like those when you’re single. The ability to make decisions without consulting or convincing others is an advantage you need to make the most of now.
#5: You Can Choose a Godly Partner
If you don’t want to be single forever, you have the final benefit here of choosing a godly spouse. An unmarried Christian has the unique opportunity to think wisely about who they date and search for good qualities of a biblical partner.
You won’t get a second chance to choose a spouse if you treat marriage the way God does. Barring a short list of specific events, your marriage choice is locked in once you make a commitment. That’s why you should cherish your current opportunity.
There are plenty of Christians who made unwise decisions about who they wed:
- There’s the husband who didn’t know his wife only professed the faith of her parents.
- There’s the wife who was so enamored by her husband’s jawline that she overlooked his inability to provide.
- And let’s not forget that some people became Christians after they were married.
In cases like the ones above, Scripture tells believers to stay in their marriages (unless the unbelieving partner leaves first—see 1 Cor. 7:12-13 and 1 Cor. 7:15). All those situations create suboptimal relationships, yet the Bible instructs those people to endure them patiently.
You have a chance to avoid that.
Look for traits of a genuine and mature Christian. Avoid people living hidden promiscuous lives. And most of all, ask God to help you find a spouse who truly is the helper you desire.
Make the Most of Your Current Status
As you can see, Christian singleness doesn’t have to be a bleak experience.
Both the Bible and practical life show that Christian singles have encouraging advantages—five of which are below for review:
- You Can Serve Without a Care
- You Can Address Hidden Sins More Effectively
- You Can Focus on Spiritual Growth
- You Can Improve More Easily in Practical Areas
- You Can Choose a Godly Partner
Like the faithful servants in the Parable of the Talents, we should all make the most of our circumstances.
Every believer is called to spiritual maturity—whether we’re married or not—so keep your focus on God and His provision regardless of relationship status.
Being single doesn’t make you better or worse than any other Christian, but it does come with advantages you can use right now to honor God.
Use those benefits you have to make Him even more proud, and you’ll likely find someone else who’s happy to claim you too.
-Drew
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