I try to limit my social media use.
I’m a dinosaur when it comes to Facebook, Instagram, and all the other sites my peers are into. For the most part, I only use them to promote projects I’m working on or to connect with like-minded people.
But anyway, I was scrolling one of my feeds the other day when I saw a reposted quote from one of those motivation accounts. You know, the ones that are 90% trash advice and are supposed to inspire you?
Well, the quote went something like this:
“Your success is the best revenge.”
Of course, the quote was attached to a picture of some hot shot with a Ferrari. Oh, and how could I forget his trophy wife who was draped all over him too?
I chuckled.
At least we’ve gotten away from taking revenge directly, but no one’s satisfied with that. We have to make people jealous now. Our lives need to be the envy of everyone who hates us—and maybe even our friends too.
Leave it to our narcissistic culture to turn something like revenge into an even bigger outlet for pride.
No matter how you decide to express it though, the problem with revenge is that it never satisfies.
You can resort to violence. You can try name-calling. You can buy shiny things and hope people get jealous. But getting back at others for the wrongs they caused us never has the effect we dreamed it would.
So how can you get the satisfaction of revenge without acting on it yourself? I mean, you can’t just ignore your feelings and expect them to go away, right?
Well…
The Bible has the answer to yet another one of your problems.
One of the best verses on dealing with enemies comes from Jesus Himself:
But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who spitefully use you. (Luke 6:27-28)
And this is just one of the many verses that expresses the need to love those who stand against you. (Prov. 24:17, Prov. 25:21, Rom. 12:17-18, Eph. 4:32, 1 Pet. 3:9)
It’s funny how the best response to problems is usually the opposite of what our emotions scream at us to do. In this case, it’s showing love to your enemies—even if you’re still pulling their knife out of your back.
It’s easy to love people you like and those who you agree with, but people with true strength of character love those who clearly don’t feel the same way.
If you show genuine love to the people who do you wrong, you’ll have a hard time keeping those enemies—the confusion you cause will likely overcome their hate.
Acting this way is an unnatural response to being hurt, and that’s one reason why it’s the best decision to make.
My Revenge Story
Now I know this sounds nice and all, but in reality, it’s hard to do.
I wouldn’t encourage you to do something I couldn’t do myself though. That’s why I’m writing this today. I actually have plenty experience being hated, and my own act of revenge brought more satisfaction than I ever thought possible.
A few years back while I was in college, I made a huge public mistake in my anger. I guess “mental breakdown” would describe it most accurately.
To this day I still can’t believe it happened, but it did. I won’t discuss the details of what happened or why I slipped here, but to make a long story short, I made an auditorium of over 100 students hate me.
Yeah…it was bad.
I’d say the next few months after that were the second loneliest period of my life. I had a long running battle with depression before then, and this was nothing compared to that, but it was still rough.
A lot of people misunderstood me because of that mistake and I got some pretty bad labels attached to me because of it. What made matters worse though was that all the people who I thought were so nice before turned ruthless.
I’ve never seen that many spiteful gazes in my direction. And I’ve never had that many doors slammed in my face.
Just showing up to classes afterward made me a nervous wreck. Sweat drenched my skin during lectures no matter how much I tried to hide it.
Look, I knew I messed up, but I didn’t think I deserved all the hate I got then. Every day was a new fight to get through. And being ostracized like that takes its toll on you—even when you’re used to being alone.
I remember being so empty then and I knew something had to change.
I thought about seeking revenge for a long time. Maybe I could plot some grand scheme where I’d eventually be on top somehow.
But I didn’t do that. Instead, I did the only thing I knew how to do.
I ran.
I ran to the only One who had the power to change things for me, because I knew I had no chance of handling that on my own.
That’s when I locked myself in my room and prayed for my classmates. And as hard as it was at the time, I prayed that they’d receive forgiveness (after asking first for my own).
I didn’t just stop at forgiveness though.
I prayed for their success. I prayed that they would get the jobs they interviewed for and that they’d live the amazing lives they wanted. And after I finished, I chose to show kindness to everyone, regardless of who they were or what they thought of me.
The truth was that none of those people really knew me or what I had been through. And if I had seen someone explode like that, I probably would have treated them the same way.
So I let it all go. I understood then that revenge wasn’t for me to take.
After I formed that attitude, I was free.
But what happened next was even more interesting.
I’m being serious when I say the whole situation turned around through a series of semi-miraculous events.
The enemies I made earlier became my friends. And what began as the lowest point of my college career became one of the most enjoyable times of my life.
Everything changed for me.
But none of that would have happened had I tried to change it myself.
The Best “Revenge”
If you’re feeling the need to take revenge, I challenge you to do the same thing.
Don’t repay evil with evil. Overcome evil with good.
Do that and see how good it feels to be free from grudges, free from anger, and free from bitterness.
Once you feel that, you’ll never look at revenge the same way.
You won’t need payback anymore, because the best “revenge”, isn’t revenge at all.
-Drew
Leave a Reply