202 Bits of Wisdom I Would Share With My Younger Self

Happy New Year!

I know I’m a little late on that, but hey, better late than never.

Anyway, 2020 is the start of a new decade, and I thought I’d use this opportunity to round up some lessons I learned in the last one. I couldn’t quite make it to 2,020 though, so I knocked off the last zero for a total of 202 instead.

All of these points are things I wish I knew a decade ago. They’re divided into ten categories for structure, and I provided a few resources here as well.

Keep in mind that this is stuff I would tell myself though. Yes, most of it should still be relevant to you, but don’t freak out if it’s not.

So with that said, let’s get to the list. Here are 202 bits of wisdom I would share with my younger self.

(Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you follow the link and make a purchase, I will receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.)

On Character 

1. Have a pulse. When life sets you back, be aggressive, and put up a fight.

2. Do not blame others for your failures. Always ask what you could have done differently.

3. Be respectful to all people, no matter their background or social status.

4. Overlook personal slights…but if those slights become repeated abuse, feel free to enforce your boundaries.

5. Humility is not weakness. Accepting the natural urge to elevate self is weakness.

6. Forgive those who ask for it. No, you shouldn’t remove every consequence, but bitterness makes things worse.

7. Good is not always nice. Nice is not always good.

8. Discernment is wise, not evil. Those who complain about judgment usually have something to hide.

9. Do not boast about your accomplishments. Let others brag on you, but never do it yourself.

10. Stick to your word. If you said you’d do it, then do it. If you can’t, don’t commit.

11. Form a consistent and reliable character. People need a rock they know they can count on.

12. Be direct in your conversation. Passive-aggression is for the weak.

13. Anyone can love their friends, but special people love their enemies too.

14. Do not repay evil for evil. Restraint puts the hostile to shame.

15. Do nothing in private that you wouldn’t want the public to know.

16. Consistent character garners respect, but crowd-pleasers fall out of favor.

17. Learn how to say “no”. Only children are averse to that word.

18. Do not underestimate people. Your pride and hate will backfire.

19. Help others even when you get nothing. You may save a life without knowing.

20. Don’t let life happen to you. Be proactive, and work with what you got.

21. If you have a question, ask. If you want to tell them, talk. And if there’s a problem, speak.

22. Hold other people accountable. You are not responsible for everything wrong.

23. Do not wish to be saved from circumstances. Grow strong enough to overcome them.

24. Never use your past as an excuse for bad character.

25. Do not accept poor character traits. Address those weaknesses instead of embracing them.

26. Don’t be ashamed of failure. The only true failure is lack of effort.

27. Practice self-discipline. Life is about more than good feelings.

28. Always play to win. It’s riskier to be passive than it is to be assertive.

On Spirituality 

29. Believe the gospel of Jesus Christ.

30. Form a relationship with God—it’s the most important one you will ever have.

31. Ask God for the wisdom to understand the Bible (and for wisdom in general). (James 1:5)

32. Find and purchase a good study Bible.

33. Learn proper exegesis. Then read the Bible from cover to cover.

34. 30 Days to Understanding the Bible is an excellent resource for beginners.

35. Learn how to spot false spiritual teachers (they are much more common than you think).

36. Find a church with good expository Bible teaching.

37. Prioritize relationships with other believers.

38. The longer you live, the more you’ll see that the biblical worldview is accurate.

39. Do not limit the faith to a Sunday activity. True Christianity should change your whole life.

40. Christianity is for people of all colors, nations, and backgrounds (Acts 10:34-35).

41. Christianity is not “religion”. It is a practical, consistent, and relevant system of truth.

42. Theology and doctrine are important. They’re your beliefs about reality, and those beliefs will affect your actions.

43. The Bible logically answers every important philosophical question. Find those answers for your own understanding, and use them when others have questions.

44. Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology is a must-read for serious Bible students.

45. CS Lewis—yes, the Narnia author—penned some of the most enjoyable Christian writing you’ll ever read.

46. Do not rely solely on your human perspective. God still works in tangible ways.

47. If you have to choose between trusting God and trusting people, always choose the former.

48. Do not obsess over politics, God is always in control (Prov. 21:1).

49. Most people are biblically illiterate. Don’t make assumptions about their knowledge of the faith.

On Women and Relationships

50. Do not chase girls. Become a strong and valuable man first, then choose a good woman who’s interested.

51. Do not date a girl you know you would never marry.

52. Always screen and vet potential partners before getting involved.

53. Do not let physical beauty overrule bad character.

54. She is not the prize. You are not the prize. A healthy bond between a man and a woman is the prize.

55. Unless you are well-off, do not date a girl whose (potential) salary is less than 60% of your own.

56. Respect women, but do not live to please them.

57. The only woman who can love you unconditionally is your mother.

58. Do not sleep around—it’s immoral and it will ruin your ability to form a healthy bond.

59. Do not watch porn or view pornographic images—it’s immoral, it makes you obsess over sex, it wastes your time and strength, it creates an unhealthy view of women, and it inclines you to seek low-quality partners.

60. Do not publicly complain about current or former partners. Likewise, do not date a girl who publicly complains about a current or former partner (or about men in general).

61. Find and marry a woman who fears God (not one who merely claims to be a Christian, but one whose actions prove that she actually loves God).

62. Do not try to change a girl, and don’t be fooled by girls who “change” for you.

63. Find a woman who handles conflict, disappointment, and failure with grace.

64. Accept responsibility for relationship issues, but don’t let anyone convince you that you are the only one at fault.

65. Long distance relationships can work with friends, but not with lovers.

66. Be brave and make the first move…but if she makes you take the second, third, and fourth without reciprocating, move on.

67. Do not date a girl simply because she likes you. Review the practical implications first.

68. You will always need to lead the relationship. If you don’t lead, she’ll get frustrated and lose interest.

69. Good leaders, however, do not do all the work. If she flakes, acts passive-aggressively, or refuses to communicate directly, move on.

70. Immediately end any relationship with a girl who provokes you (i.e. she name-calls, insults, or falsely accuses you).

71. Do not value a girl’s “love”. Value a woman’s respect.

72. It’s better to be alone than with a girl who doesn’t respect you.

73. Familiarize yourself with BPD and other cluster B personality disorders. Trust me, just do it.

On Other Relationships 

74. Respect people’s schedules. If you don’t involve them in your plans, don’t get mad when they don’t show.

75. Communication works both ways. Reach out to others every once in while.

76. Build a good relationship with your parents—even if they aren’t the greatest example.

77. When people’s intentions are unclear, assume ignorance before malice.

78. If your attempt to reconcile is rejected, walk away, your hands are clean.

79. Do not project your thoughts on others. Not everyone thinks like you.

80. Avoid passive-aggressive people. They make the simplest tasks difficult.

81. Be at peace with everyone (if at all possible).

82. Everyone is not out to get you. Take most people at their word.

83. Some people just don’t smile. That doesn’t mean they’re evil.

84. If they gossip when you’re around, they’ll gossip when you’re gone.

85. Limit social media use. Use it to handle the logistics of meeting in person.

86. Do not make unnecessary enemies. Treat all people the way you want to be treated.

87. Avoid black and white thinking. Real people are complex.

88. Never help people do things they can and should do on their own.

On Education 

89. Do not go into serious debt to attend your dream school. Pick a combo of the best and most affordable school for you.

90. Read at least one book every two months. (Yes, that’s a rookie number but you need to start somewhere.)

91. Accept nothing less than a B, but plan to make A’s in each course.

92. If you need to read, write, or study, head to the library. Your place has too many distractions.

93. Learn from the textbook. The teacher is just a resource.

94. Take pride—the good kind—in high academic performance. Do not let name-calling, insults, or stereotypes keep you from learning.

95. Only study in groups if the other members are serious about their work.

96. Do not make academic choices based on what your friends do. Challenge yourself and chart your own path.

97. Blogs are amazing. You can learn more from a good blog than you can from many college courses.

98. Do not pick a major because it sounds cool. Make a decision based on your talent, personal interest, and potential salary.

99. Get paid work experience that’s relevant to your major. (Most universities have programs to help with this.)

100. Take care of business in high school so college isn’t expensive. Take care of business in college so life isn’t expensive.

101. Don’t stop learning once you’re out of school.

102. Do not accept everything you read. Learn to recognize bias and form counterarguments too.

103. No material is too difficult to learn. “Hard” material requires more time and focus.

104. Understand the macro view first, then dig into the details.

105. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Don’t let initial improvements go to your head.

On Content Creation 

106. Focus on evergreen content. Everything else becomes irrelevant fast.

107. Remove your bias towards your work. Most consumers won’t know who you are, and frankly, they won’t care.

108. If you treat your work like a hobby, that’s what it will be.

109. Do not wait for consumer feedback. Become your own worst critic and attack your work without mercy.

110. Build a solid platform before you promote it.

111. Don’t give people reasons to leave (i.e. don’t swear, start drama, or promote hate).

112. Create for people, not numbers.

113. Heart makes all the difference in content creation. Passion and competence lead to great work.

114. Collaborate with other creators. They will be some of the best people you meet.

115. Excellence is the standard, not perfection.

116. Treat all your content with love and care. You never know which one consumers will see.

117. About 80 percent of your views will come from 20 percent of your content.

118. The number of engaged consumers will be much less than total viewers and subscribers.

119. Be careful with your platform. Your ideas can spread quickly.

120. Don’t neglect your creative urge. Keep an idea log handy at all times.

121. The view-to-comment ratio is huge, so don’t let a lack of comments discourage you.

122. Do not fear real criticism. Use it to become even better.

123. Never respond to trolls. All you have to do is hit delete.

On Writing 

124. Everyone’s first draft is horrible; just get words on the page.

125. Plan an outline before you draft. Preparation makes drafting easier.

126. Writing will always be relevant. We still read stuff that’s thousands of years old.

127. Writing is like every other craft: you will be terrible at first.

128. Editing is where the magic happens. Good editors turn words into art.

129. Never exceed two days without doing some form of writing.

130. Roy Peter Clark’s Writing Tools: 55 Essential Strategies for Every Writer is an awesome resource for beginners.

131. Tackle a writing challenge to eliminate writer’s block.

132. A messy mind leads to messy writing. Remove all drama to write at your best.

133. All writing is thoughts on a page. Skilled writers just structure thoughts well.

134. Study the rules of grammar until you know when you’re safe to break them.

135. Read work you find appealing and copy that writer’s style. Do this for multiple authors and then infuse your own quirks into your writing.

136. The purpose of each sentence is to lead to the next one. The purpose of each paragraph is to cover one idea.

137. Use the rule of three. It forms a pattern, it has good rhythm, and it varies your sentences. (See what I mean?)

138. Never end on a whimper. Always conclude with a bang.

139. Be as specific as possible. Get the name of the dog, the color of the hat, and the number on the jersey.

140. Don’t write walls of text. Four sentences is the max for paragraphs online.

141. Should you write one-word sentences? Yes.

142. In general, avoid passive writing (e.g. Change “the whistle was blown” to “the ref blew the whistle”).

143. Use the passive form, however, to emphasize an action’s “victim” (e.g. Change “they insulted, mocked, and attacked him” to “he was insulted, mocked, and attacked”).

144. Only use adjectives that modify subjects (e.g. “the red shirt”, “the cunning smile”, or “the broken plate”).

145. Put the word you want to emphasize at the end of the sentence.

146. Do not write to merely inform. Readers can get facts anywhere.

147. Long-form content is where it’s at. Be thorough and do the work no one else wants to do.

On the Workplace 

148. Don’t say anything at work that you wouldn’t want to spread.

149. Avoid all workplace drama no matter how shocking, funny, or interesting it is.

150. Yes, you work for the money—everyone works to meet that need.

151. “Don’t get your honey where you get your money.”

152. Always have an answer before anyone asks.

153. Shrink the scope of your projects. Management prefers work that’s done fast.

154. Document everything. Someone will ask about that project from three years ago.

155. Do not isolate yourself: Go to after-work events. Talk to people outside your department. Network with those in similar careers.

156. Put it on the calendar ASAP. Schedules get messy quick.

157. Have a written agenda for each meeting. People appreciate organization.

158. You are not responsible for other people’s work. Know your role, stay within scope, and point others in the right direction.

159. Be irreplaceable. Learn to do things no one else can.

160. Arrive early at least twice a week. Being an early bird still has it’s perks.

161. Befriend and learn from senior coworkers. You’ll miss their experience when it’s out the door.

162. Justifying projects, purchases, and ideas is one of the best skills you can have.

163. Tell your audience what they want to hear. Stay quiet if nothing fits the bill.

164. Always dress one step above the requirement.

165. Make day-to-day decisions quickly. You can recover from bad decisions made fast.

166. Take your vacation days. There’s nothing noble about perfect attendance.

167. Be cool with every coworker—not just the ones in your department, but the ones at the front desk, and the ones who clean the bathroom too.

On Self-Care 

168. Do not drink—it’s an expensive habit, it complicates your diet, and it reduces self-control.

169. Avoid recreational drugs—there are better outlets for what they provide.

170. Try intermittent fasting. It’s one of the best decisions you’ll ever make.

171. Learn how to count calories so you can estimate them later.

172. Perform a resistance exercise at least three times a week. (Bodyweight is fine, just do something for functional strength).

173. Your weight is mostly controlled by your diet. You cannot out-exercise a poor diet.

174. Men are most physically attractive at or below 12 percent body fat.

175. Don’t let the TV fool you: weight loss is not hard.

176. Drink water with most of your meals. Save your calories for solid food.

177. Do not snack in-between meals. Eat when it’s time to eat and don’t eat when it’s not.

178. Junk food does not make you fat. Consistently eating too many calories makes you fat.

179. Walks are the greatest stress-relievers.

180. Do not obsess over your appearance. Keep things simple and clean.

181. Avoid clothes with crazy patterns and logos.

182. Review your wardrobe each year and make adjustments.

183. Buy clothes that fit. Loose stuff makes you look tiny.

184. Wear an eye mask for high-quality sleep (that’s a link to my favorite by the way).

185. If you have moderate to severe acne, see a dermatologist to get Accutane (aka Isotretinoin). The few months of hell will be worth it.

On Work Ethic

186. Do not work when you have the most time. Work when you have the most energy.

187. Choose an environment where others work too.

188. Always work before action is necessary.

189. Focused effort is more important than actual hours.

190. Always do one thing at one time.

191. Be aggressive during planning periods. It’s easier to scale back later than it is to ramp up.

192. If you’re given a deadline, form a personal one that’s much closer.

193. Do not work past 8 PM. You’ll just cause fatigue-related problems.

194. Speaking of fatigue, get eight hours of quiet and undisturbed sleep.

195. Free time is overrated. Work on your own when you’re off the clock.

196. Give sustainable effort. You won’t need all-nighters if you give an hour daily.

197. Shows and movies are a huge time-suck. Pick a few shows that interest you and ignore everything else.

198. Practice sexual discipline. A controlled drive does a brain good.

199. Get your work in early. You’ll feel accomplished before anyone wakes.

200. Do not rely on coffee or other stimulants. You want sustainable effort, not bursts followed by crashes.

201. You need intrinsic motivation. Money, praise, and feedback are inconsistent.

202. Do not expect others to work with you. Do your own thing, and maybe they’ll follow.

Keep Living, Keep Learning

So there’s my list.

I’d be in an even better place now if I knew all this a decade ago, but the past is the past, and I’m grateful for it, not bitter.

Let me know some things you would add to a list of your own. And let me know if anything here resonated with you too.

But no matter what you think, let’s both decide to keep living and learning. I want to add a few hundred more points to this list soon.

-Drew