Why Johnny Depp’s Victory Was a Win for Me and Every Other Man Attacked by an Abusive Woman 

“This chick has BPD.”

It only took 15 minutes of watching Amber Heard’s testimony for me to see she had a personality disorder.

I had no idea the trial between Heard and Johnny Depp would be livestreamed, so I didn’t tune in to the popular case until Heard’s team began their defense. Once I heard Amber speak, however, I knew she was the real abuser.

I don’t normally comment on stuff like this because it’s usually impossible to know the whole story. Plus, news topics change quickly these days, and I’m not trying to write articles that’ll be irrelevant in a week.

The Johnny Depp case was personal for me though.

As someone who’s been attacked by a woman who showed similar traits to Heard, I couldn’t help but get attached to the trial.

The whole thing made me relive the past in ways I didn’t think possible. Depp’s words sounded just like mine did then (albeit with the addition of profanity). And Heard and her friends sounded just like my accuser and her enablers.

It was sickening really, but the most painful part about the trial was the media’s coverage of it. They painted almost every Depp supporter as a misogynist brainwashed by the internet, while Heard supporters were valiant aids to every woman who’s suffered domestic abuse.

Even now after all the evidence has been shown and Depp is victorious, the mainstream is still presenting the case as a mutual defeat at best.

That’s why I’m writing this now.

All the media outlets crying about Heard not being believed are pretty much saying “I don’t understand BPD” without saying “I don’t understand BPD”. So as a man who had the privilege of having his life nearly ruined by it, I think it’s time I set the record straight.

What Is BPD? And Why Did It Matter in the Case?

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, “borderline personality disorder [or BPD] is a mental illness that severely impacts a person’s ability to regulate their emotions. This loss of emotional control can increase impulsivity, affect how a person feels about themselves, and negatively impact their relationships with others.”

The NIMH also describes multiple BPD symptoms which include the following:

• Efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, such as rapidly initiating intimate (physical or emotional) relationships or cutting off communication with someone in anticipation of being abandoned
• A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often swinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
• Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
• Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
• Chronic feelings of emptiness
• Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
• Difficulty trusting, which is sometimes accompanied by irrational fear of other people’s intentions

I’ve personally seen how someone with the disorder acts, and I believe the traits above perfectly describe Heard now that I’ve seen all the evidence.

But before I get called an armchair psychologist, I should mention that Dr. Shannon Curry, a clinical and forensic psychologist who served as an expert witness in the trial, diagnosed Heard with the same disorder after personal evaluation.

Dr. Curry did an excellent job explaining BPD and the challenges associated with it. So I’ve included her summary of the illness below:

Later in the testimony, Dr. Curry also described one of the hallmark traits of the disorder: BPD splitting.

Splitting refers to a BPD sufferer’s proclivity to idealize loved ones as perfect, but then devalue them later as explained in the clip below:

This tendency to view loved ones—especially significant others—as either all good or all bad is one of the most obvious and dangerous traits of the disorder.

Yes, it’s flattering to be a perfect hero in the eyes of another person, but once that scale tips in the other direction, it can be downright scary. That’s why I’m so happy Dr. Curry explained BPD and its traits in such a high profile case.

Now please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying everyone with BPD is an abuser. BPD sufferers who are aware of their condition and have sought treatment to manage it are usually fine people. But as we’ll see with Amber, it’s the unaware, unaccepting, and untreated sufferers who can pose a legitimate threat.

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Note: The embedded videos below are extended portions of the trial’s livestream which included mature and uncensored material. I’ve edited the clips here so they start and end without any profanity or graphic content, but viewer discretion is still advised.

Evidence of Amber Heard Splitting

People often say BPD should be renamed to something like “emotional regulation disorder”, but the current name actually makes sense to those familiar with the illness.

The “borderline” in BPD originally referred to being on the border of psychosis—a condition where personal experiences do not match reality. Psychotic symptoms include hallucinations and delusions, and splitting is often the cause for similar episodes in BPD sufferers.

Amber Heard’s testimony was particularly disturbing because she described these experiences herself:

In the clip above, Heard described how her “soulmate”, Johnny Depp, had “this other thing” inside him that scared her.

Later in the trial, both legal teams referred to this “thing” as “the monster”—a label Heard used to describe Johnny’s alleged alter ego.

Heard’s legal team spent a significant amount of time connecting “the monster” to Depp’s character while under the influence of certain drugs, but Johnny himself gave a more reasonable explanation as to what happened:

The “monster” Amber described isn’t a hidden persona unleashed when Johnny’s on specific drugs. It is a frightening character that only exists in Heard’s mind.

This is how untreated BPD sufferers can view their loved ones. And from the other person’s perspective, this shift from perfect soulmate to disgusting monster occurs for no reason at all.

These delusional splitting episodes are one reason why Heard is so adamant that she’s a victim. They also explain why she was perfectly fine the day after each alleged beatdown. People who aren’t familiar with BPD have brushed off all her statements as manipulative lies, but the truth is, her illness produces experiences that make her feel like a true victim.

It’s hard to not feel sympathy for a person who experiences life this way, but it’s also tough to care when the cruelness that person shows in reality is much worse:

As Depp quickly learned, no amount of logic, reason, or arguing can save you once you’ve been devalued. At that point, you are nothing to the sufferer. And they will treat you like the trash they think you are.

The confusion and psychological damage victims experience from being treated this way is debilitating. Depp even mentioned in the clip above how hard it was to not get depressed when Amber was splitting.

Dealing with behavior like this—especially from someone who claimed to love you—is one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. Like Johnny, I apparently made my accuser feel love she never felt before, but later, I was the “abuser” who she slandered, isolated, and cheated on.

That is BPD at its worst. And Johnny’s story sounds just like mine and every other one from men who fell for the same trap.

I could go on about Amber’s lack of impulse control, the paranoia she described when Depp was temporarily absent, her disproportionate payback for Johnny’s perceived slights, her constant exaggeration of reality, her projection of her own actions onto Depp, her “I hate you, don’t leave me” attitude, her “emotional support” sessions with other men, her mirroring of anyone in the room she thinks is important, and her actual admission to hitting Johnny in audio recordings, but her splitting-related episodes are by far the most obvious sign of BPD.

Heard’s textbook case of the illness was the cause behind most of the issues presented in the trial. And I applaud Dr. Curry for recognizing what people like me have seen firsthand.

The Verdict: Why Johnny Depp’s Victory Was a Win for Real Victims

Tell the world, Johnny, tell them, Johnny Depp, I Johnny Depp, a man, I’m a victim too of domestic violence…and see how many people believe or side with you.

—Amber Heard

Even after I cut ties with my accuser, I still endured constant headaches, difficulty sleeping, and social avoidance for over a year. Heck, I even saw a therapist for the first time in my life because no one else understood.

People around me didn’t know about BPD and I was pretty much blamed for everything. That’s why I’m spreading awareness now.

So please don’t try to label me as an incel, a misogynist, or a pawn brainwashed by the internet—I’ve already had my reality dismissed enough.

Sure, some people took Johnny’s side because they are those things I mentioned, but I am not one of them. I’m just a guy who wants to see justice no matter who’s involved.

It really would be a travesty of justice if a victim was punished for speaking out against a powerful man, but Amber Heard is not that victim. Amber Heard is an abusive woman with a mental disorder who needs professional help before she hurts more people. And the mainstream media should be ashamed of themselves for still painting her as anything else.

Contrary to what’s happening now, the Depp verdict should be universally celebrated, because far too often, those of us in Johnny’s shoes don’t get happy endings.

We don’t get vindicated. We don’t get compensated for the damage. And most of us don’t even get an apology. All we get is the task of moving on even though life has permanently changed.

But that’s why Johnny’s win was so important.

It showed that sometimes, people will listen if you explain. They will fight for you if you fight back. And life will be good again if you endure.

I wanted so desperately for Johnny to win to prove all those things. That’s why I prayed for the jury to see through Heard’s delusions and grant a real victim justice.

And on June 1st 2022, my prayer was answered.

-Drew

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P.S. — If you’re interested in learning more about BPD and its effect on relationships, check out Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger (affiliate link). It’s a classic book that explains the illness and makes a confusing trial like this understandable.

Photo Credit: Harald Krichel from Wikimedia Commons (CC BY-SA 3.0 license)