Defecation, Greatness, and Humility: A Loser Making Sense of it All

Have you ever been pooped on?

And no, I don’t mean in the metaphorical sense. I’m talking feces, excrement, the real stuff.

Well I have. And as you would imagine, it’s not a pleasant experience.

I was walking to my car after a particularly good day at work, when suddenly, I felt a thump against my chest.

“No way did that just happen,” I thought. But it did. My newly-stained black polo was evidence of that.

One minute, conversations with impressed coworkers replayed in my head. And then the next, I was a walking toilet.

I’m sure the guy walking behind me could see the smoke rising from my ears. Or maybe the threat of being added to the bird’s hit list kept him too worried to notice. But either way, only a few seconds passed before the both of us were snickering.

Yet again I was reminded of how quickly I can be brought down to earth.

Every time I get high on myself these days, a seemingly random event or a boneheaded decision brings me crashing down. It’s so predictable now that I have to force myself to stay as low as possible.

But I’m still human, and every now and then, I feel the urge to go against my better judgment.

Truth is, I remember the days of feeling inferior to everyone—and even now I still struggle with those feelings. So when I somehow convince myself that I’m outdoing my peers, that temptation storms right back.

There’s a part of me that craves greatness. A part that’s desperate to be appreciated for once, and that pushes me to prove I’m not the person everyone thinks I am.

But that’s when I lose every time.

And this goes beyond some delusional sense of pride. I’m talking about when the glory seems merited—when most people would agree that you deserve to talk.

That’s what I have to avoid.

Because in all honesty, no one is any different than those who came before us. Nothing’s done today that hasn’t been done in the past.

Sure mediums change but we’ve been comparing ourselves with money, power, and influence for all of history.

It’s been a race to the top for centuries. But no one sees that the goal is in the other direction.

The Other Side

All of these thoughts came up again while I was downtown the other day.

I was starving and ended up going to this cafeteria-style restaurant nearby. It wasn’t the first place I’d normally go, but I was with some older friends then who made the call.

Anyway, we got in line for food when I noticed a group of about ten or so homeless people stand in line too. And as soon as they did, the whole atmosphere changed.

I’m no stranger to seeing poverty first-hand, but for some reason, their very presence rubbed me the wrong way. And while I hate to admit it, I was disgusted.

Those people wore rags for clothes, you could tell a few hadn’t bathed in a while, and their twitchy mannerisms were a little…disturbing, to say the least.

All I could think about then was how to escape from that line. Going without food sounded better than the thought of eating with them.

But then I caught myself.

“What makes you any better than them?”

That thought rang so loud I could have sworn it was audible.

If anyone should have related to them, it was me: