How to Not Be a Cringy Christian: 4 Ways to Express a More Respectable Faith

Have you ever felt ashamed of someone you love?

Of course you have. Everyone has.

Spend enough time around even the most appealing of people and you’re bound to catch them make a not-so-flattering slip.

I’m sure the people who garner the most respect from you though, are the ones who keep those “misses” to a minimum. And this is why I want to address some people I love very much.

My Christian brothers and sisters are special to me, but I have to admit that today’s Christian culture has become exceedingly cringy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t say that because I’m a deconstructionist who thinks our beliefs are outdated—I couldn’t care less if others despise us for sharing the message we know to be true. I say it as a Christian concerned that our presentation doesn’t align with the authentic approach shown in Scripture.

So let’s fix that.

Here are 4 ways we as believers can express a more respectable faith.

#1 Don’t Force the Fruit

We all know the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23).

Scripture describes those traits as proof of God’s indwelling Spirit within. Yet somewhere along the way, many Christians confused this description as a mandate to act like Chick-fil-A employees.

Forcing the Spirit’s fruit makes us look disingenuous, inauthentic, and desperate. It’s a clear difference from when our actions are the result of the Spirit. The former instance, however, is far more prevalent in mainstream “Christianity”.

I hate to use Joel Osteen as an example here since the man is a meme at this point, but it’s clear to everyone that his obsessive commitment to positivity and inoffensiveness is the result of forced effort. And when we act in a similar vein, our effect on unbelievers is usually the opposite of what we intend.

Instead of using our lives to organically attract others to our message, our actions reek of desperation for that message to be accepted.

Our constant expression of a “blessed” life pushes them away. But we don’t need to have perfect lives to make Scripture’s truth evident.

Take me for example. From an earthly perspective, my life is pretty pathetic.

Thank God I got an education that’s led to a solid career, because there ain’t much good outside of that:

I’ve publicly embarrassed myself in a way most people would have never recovered from.
I’ve endured abuse and smear campaigns from a mentally disordered person who thought I wronged her.
And I’ve spent more time alone at a somewhat young age than many people will in their lifetime.

If I’m being honest, the last couple years are the only ones within the last decade that I’ve mostly enjoyed. Yet in spite of all this, a sense of peace and joy has always been present in me that I can only attribute to God’s Spirit within.

I didn’t force those feelings because I couldn’t if I tried. That involuntary fruit doesn’t need to be faked by me or any true believer. It’s an authentic state that simply doesn’t make sense sometimes considering circumstances.

I pray that we all stop our cheap imitations, and allow that authentic fruit to speak for itself.

#2 Get to the Meat

In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity… (Heb. 5:12-6:1 NIV)

We live in an age where information is more accessible than ever, yet the discourse I hear from most professing believers is extremely dumbed down. I’ve even seen nonbelievers dive deeper into Scripture than consistent churchgoers do.

It’s embarrassing.

Christians are charged with growing in our understanding from the time we get saved, yet many of us live in a state of perpetual ignorance. That charge isn’t only for pastors and theologians—people who’ve committed their livelihoods to the faith—it’s for your everyday Christian who works a 9-to-5 too.

It’s not like good teachers aren’t around and solid resources aren’t available either. Many of us just don’t put the effort in to learn.

This is a huge problem, not only because it stunts our own growth, but because it prevents us from sharing a mature understanding of the faith.

“Jesus loves you” isn’t enough to tackle the issues in our world. If you haven’t studied enough to know more than that…

How will you show an atheist who says he doesn’t need a “sky person” to know right from wrong that he’s agreeing with Scripture (see Rom. 2:14-15)?
How will you answer the homosexual who says God made her that way if you don’t understand inherited sin?
Where will you get the boldness to share the gospel in an increasingly secular world if you’re blind to the guaranteed success brought by God’s election and predestination?

Scripture’s true beauty comes when you’ve read countless passages, understand their context, and recognize similar themes throughout. Then you can combine those diverse learnings into a coherent body of knowledge, and use it to explain complex doctrines, counter worldly philosophies, and lead Scripture-based action in a consistent manner.

That’s what mature Christians do.

“I don’t know” may be a valid answer, but if you’re saying it all the time, you’ve got work to do.

We should all know our message so well that specific passages come to mind when we’re presented with questions. No, we may not know the answer off the top of our heads, but like I was taught in college: “You don’t need to memorize what you can find in a minute”.

We should all at least reach the point where we know where to find those common answers.

#3 Stop Chasing Political Saviors

We have one Savior. His name is Jesus.

Donald Trump is not that guy. Joe Biden is not that guy. And if you’re reading this in the future, your favorite flawed politician isn’t either.

Being overly concerned with politics is cringy for Christians. Political obsession is understandable for nonbelievers since human methods for change are all they have, but believers should know better.

Government and laws cannot make people Christlike. That’s literally the point of the Old Testament.

History has proven that even the best of us fall short of political ideals, regardless of intentions. Even King David, who is highly regarded by Scripture and is the best example of a righteous king in the Bible, was still tainted by sin—just like every politician and human government is.

This is why Scripture presents a new King who is perfect. The Christ will eventually rule a kingdom on earth that will put all previous ones to shame.

The Jews of Jesus’ time knew this, and they longed for it. But then, like now, those who expected the Messiah to fulfill political agendas first were the ones who missed His true mission.

Sin was (and is) the bigger priority to address. Without being born again, we can’t even see a preview of the perfect government that’s to come (John 3:3).

Now, are there political issues we can address to make this world look more like that future kingdom? Of course. But the fervor which many Christians have towards politics today betrays their ultimate object of faith.

We need to ask ourselves if our political investment is based on making this world reflect the kingdom, or if it’s based on trust in our laws to bring moral change.

The former acknowledges the spiritual reality of God’s kingdom now and the impact Christians can have on the culture. The latter reveals a false hope in human methods to achieve what only God can accomplish.

#4 Eliminate Hypocrisy

Christians will always be judged by how we live.

It was like that in the first century and it’s the same way today. No one cares about what you believe if your life doesn’t make those beliefs attractive.

A major part of the Christian message is about being made new, and our lives need to reflect that. Yes, this can be difficult, because as I’ve written before, all Christians are “hypocrites”. We all have two competing natures—the old person and the new one—even after we’re saved.

If we want the world to take us seriously though, we need to do some house cleaning, so to speak.

It takes deliberate action to kill the old part of yourself that’s just like the world. Part of that action is making tough choices about what we accept in our lives too.

For some of us, that means we’ll have to…

Clear our speech of the profanity we use to fit in.
Start a challenge to avoid pornography and clear our phones of sexual triggers.
Or cut off a relationship with someone we care about because God isn’t their priority.

Those are all actions I’ve had to take as a believer. And trust me, this list isn’t exhaustive.

I’m not writing this section as a flawless example who’s always said no to temptation. I’m writing it as a corporate challenge for all Christians, including myself, to be more aware of our weaknesses and be vigilant in addressing them.

“If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out”, and “if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off” (see Matt. 5:29-30).

The world can’t say anything bad about us if we do that.

For sure, this is all easier said than done. In fact, it’s impossible through willpower alone.

But we, again, have the Holy Spirit instead of just willpower. And if we lean into His strength and guidance, we’ll eliminate hypocrisy, and express a more respectable faith.

-Drew

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