A younger me would be disgusted right now.
“GLAAAD?! What do you mean glad?! Glad as in ‘happy’?! Glad as in ‘thankful’?! You sir, are out of your mind!!!”
That’s probably how he’d respond.
To be honest, I had a hard time writing that headline even now, but the fact is, it’s true. There’s no way I’d be the person I am today without facing the challenges I did. And I’m sure you could say the same about your own life.
Despite the shock, heartache, and stress adversity brings, it has a well-known tendency to make us better. And today, I want to share how I’ve become better because of it.
If you’ve been a reader here for a while then you’re well aware of the struggles I’ve faced, but to sum it all up, I was…well, a loser. That’s what I was in the eyes of the world.
Circumstances robbed me of my passions, my personality, and my mental and physical health. The whole world treated me like I was nothing then, and I succumbed to that treatment because I thought it was all I could do.
But thank God things are different now.
I’m no longer the person I was back then. Heck, most people today wouldn’t even believe that was me—that’s how much things have changed.
Looking back now though, I really am grateful for that time. And while I’d never wish my worst experiences on anyone, I have to admit, I’m glad I went through them for the following four reasons:
Reason #1: I Learned How to Be Humble
Arrogant people always share one of the following traits:
- They either haven’t experienced rock bottom, or…
- They don’t think they can go back to it.
If you’ve never experienced a time of great adversity, or if you don’t believe it could happen again, you are probably conceited.
I (un)fortunately meet neither of those conditions though.
I know it takes prescription strength medicine just to make my skin look normal. I remember going to bed early only to get two hours of sleep. And I’ve seen how fast one mistake can turn whole crowds against you.
I am very familiar with rock bottom. It would be foolish of me to act like I’m not. Plus I know that all of us are only one step away from a different life, so it doesn’t make sense to look down on others who have the same problems I had before.
That’s why I’m thankful for my experiences: They showed me how it felt to be low.
One of the great results of being humbled like I was is that you lose your invisible threshold of respect. What I mean is that most people have this imaginary line you have to cross before they treat you like an equal. They demand—both consciously and unconsciously—that you have a certain level of money, fitness, or education before you’re worth their time, but I’ve always hated that. I hated it before I was a “loser” and I hated it even more afterwards.
I know for a fact that some of my acquaintances wouldn’t treat me the same if they saw what I was before. But that’s why I strive to be different. I’m not concerned with the games people play anymore. I only care about the humanity we all share.
That’s why I make a concerted effort now to judge people by their actions instead of things outside their control. I ignore their looks and their social status and just focus on their character.
Life is hard enough as it is without people looking down on you. So why should any of us choose to be a person who makes it harder?
Reason #2: I Gained an Appreciation for Others
I’ll be honest here: I used to despise most people.
Life wasn’t enjoyable to me in the past. And when life isn’t enjoyable, it’s hard to enjoy the people in it.
All I could see then were people with luxuries I didn’t have:
- My skin was a mess so I noticed their flawless complexions.
- I was jealous of athletes whose bodies didn’t break down like mine did.
- And I couldn’t stand when people said “good morning” because I didn’t see anything good about it.
I was incredibly bitter back then. To me, other people were just reminders of how awful life was.
Today my perspective is much different though.
I don’t view people as my enemies anymore, and that’s mostly because I found others I could relate to. These people had acne like I did, they were fat like I was, and they had been through some rough mental places, yet they still found ways to overcome it all.
They didn’t stop after beating those challenges either. Their experiences humbled them and inspired a desire to help. So they shared their stories of failure and triumph for people like me.
I wanted to be like that. My faith demanded that I be like that. So that’s what I chose to do.
I chose to be a light for others instead of this bitter mess who hated them. Then I began to appreciate their skills, their talents, and their creativity. Instead of viewing those strengths as reasons why they were better than me, I saw them as gifts they could use to make life better for all of us.
Once I did that, people noticed the difference. They saw that I lost my resentment, and they responded with kindness in return.
Reason #3: I Was Forced to Grow Spiritually
One of the few good things about suffering is that it forces you to ask questions.
That’s what it made me do back then, and I wouldn’t have my amateur theologian status now if I wasn’t forced to find answers.
Sure, I became a Christian at an early age, but I was a spiritual baby then. My faith wasn’t tested early on. I didn’t have doubts about the Bible. I didn’t wonder if God cared at all.
None of that happened until life changed for the worse.
I questioned everything then because I couldn’t disappoint myself with a false hope. I needed confirmation that the Bible’s message was true and worth believing.
If I didn’t face those challenges then, the faith would only be tradition me, just a routine. It’s hard to be convicted about a belief when you don’t have to rely on it, but I was forced to do so, and I came out better afterwards.
The best part about all this though is that you got to see it firsthand.
My past writings showed my raw emotions. They showed my anxieties, my doubts, and my fears. I’m not even capable of writing stuff like that anymore because I’m past the hardship, but it’s still there for you to read. And now you have the added bonus of seeing how God helped me recover.
My days as a suffering writer may be over now, but like Joseph, Job, and Paul before me, I’m a survivor who knows God better because of my trials. And for that reason, I am very glad.
Reason #4: I Feel Invincible Now
That’s right, I said it.
I feel invincible now.
Gaining control over life’s most difficult problems gives a confidence that few actions can match.
So often these days I think, “This is nothing compared to before”. The day-to-day annoyances that irritate most people hardly affect me now.
That’s not to say I’m immune to pain or frustration, but I know the challenges they stem from can’t defeat me. I’ve just gained too many problem-solving skills.
Now I have the patience to endure circumstances when there are no overnight solutions. I learned how to be assertive when facing problems instead of resigning to what I’ve been dealt. And my previous successes give me hope which assures me that my actions aren’t in vain.
Patience, assertiveness, and hope. Those three things make me feel invincible, but I would have never developed them if it weren’t for my past.
So yeah, I know new problems are inevitable, but I’ve gained the strength to face them. And no matter how much I’m hurt in the short term, nothing can conquer me now.
What Are Your Reasons?
So those are four reasons why I’m glad life haven’t always gone my way. But now I ask, what are yours?
How have you surprisingly grown from unfortunate events? And what skills do you have now that you otherwise would have never developed?
Feel free to let me know.
-Drew
Photo Credits (by order of appearance):
- Randy Jose
- Karl Fredrickson
- Tyler Nix
- Timothy Eberly
- Jilbert Ebrahimi
All photos from Unsplash.com
Good morning(😉) Drew!
That’s such a cool way of looking at adversity and I can honestly say I wholeheartedly agree. I was overweight and dealt with acne problems as well but now I’m thankful for it because you are 100% correct. It really does keep you humble. Pride has been one of those issues that I have spent a lot of time thinking I DON’T have…only to find out that I do. Lol!
I also think it helped me to view others that were maybe “worse” than me (I don’t really believe they were but it conveys my point). When you don’t look like Angelina Jolie or Chris Hemsworth😂😂😂 it really takes off those social barriers and allows you to connect.
Growing up, I always viewed people that lived in trailer parks as the white trash type. Until I was forced to live in that situation. And what do ya know? Most of our neighbors were sweet, generous people.
It’s sharing experiences that gives us immediate rapport with people otherwise considered strangers. That’s the reason I’m thankful for my adversity. As terrible as the pandemic has been, it gave rapport with literally every person on the planet. Find yourself with a stranger? Talk about state mandates.😅
So thank you for this post. I hope your blog grows in leaps and bounds because EVERYONE should have a hunger for excellence.
Have a great day my friend!😊
Kaydin
Ha! I’ll take all the “good morning’s” thrown my way now.
Pride is seriously tricky like you said though. It’s so easy to raise yourself in your own eyes if you don’t actively fight the urge.
That’s an interesting tidbit about the trailer park situation too. I drive by one almost every day, and I have to admit, I don’t always think the way I should about people from that environment. So thank you for helping me ground my perspective there.
Anyways, good to hear from you again, Kaydin. And thanks for reading.
Hey Drew again,
I had quite bad acne during my junior years in high school all the way through to senior high – and really took a blow on my self-esteem. I remember not wanting to look people in the eye because I could see where they were looking at my face; being so shy around strangers especially guys. I remember I’d sometimes even eat by myself in high school in the stalls since I was so alone. I remember crying and feeling so sorry for myself…but my problem with self-esteem and image stemmed from a conglomerate of other things like good grades, being well-rounded, always fighting to the top especially in a competitive school and family environment, balancing social commitments, running back and forth between people…it was just too much for a 14 year old and there were so many times I felt so fake. So superficial. So ugly and disgusted with myself since no one knew me and the ugly demons I was dealing with, even my parents. I compared myself to many people, in after-classes, with school mates, with Christian and non-christian friends and the cycle was unending. The enemy really made me feel ugly and unworthy inside out.
When results came out at the end of highschool, I was devastated I couldn’t really make it to my first preference, but settled for my second which was a singles degree. I felt like a limp all the way through in first year. But, right through first year college, God sent an unexpected Christian high school friend I had known for to pray and counsel and share life with each week for a year. I wasn’t at all close to her, but God drew us close to each other. She is one of my closest and endearing sisters in Christ to this day, and God works in such wondrous, unexpected things. I really feel the grace that there will always be a time when we can tenderly “look back” to our past and say goodbye to them in Christ. He has carried all my burdens those years, and indeed looking back, a broken and contrite heart is all He needs to work a full miracle in your life. I was not lovely in any shape or form to Him, yet He wants to make me lovely.
The Lord is amazing, praise be to His Name!
Thank you Drew again for sharing such a topic so close to my heart.
In Christ,
Joy
Awesome comment, Joy.
Your high school experience sounds very similar to mine——albeit from a female perspective. I spent a lot of time alone and hiding too, and I absolutely dreaded a few years that should have been one of the most fun periods of my youth.
But anyway, I’m glad both of us are in better places now. And that’s amazing how you found a great friend to grow with since then too.
It’s always great to see how God brings people together in unexpected ways for His glory and our enjoyment. So thank you for sharing your story here.